I've been looking back on all my blog entries in the last year, specifically, at the ones right about this time last year. I remembered that last year I wrote about the Perseids, and sure enough, there it was. August 12th. Textual insight into what I was thinking as I watched the same stars fall a year ago.
I guess I've come pretty far in the last year. Ok, no, I know I've come far in the last year. This year, star-gazing from a boat, on a lake in southern Indiana with a boy. Last year, star-gazing from the roof of my car in my driveway on the Southside with a dad (my dad, to be specific). This year, looking forward to and thinking about the future, both immediate and distant. Last year, struggling to get myself out of the past. This year, listening to Ryan Star on repeat. Last year, Jimmy Eat World.
And the thought that keeps coming back to me (the thing that wants to be written, though it's not what I originally intended) is how unaware I was last year of just how much better things could get. At the time, I thought I was stuck. I'd been making progress, on my way up, but I'd hit a brick wall. I didn't know how it could get any better than it was; I couldn't see a way out of where I was. And yet, here I sit, a year later, as happy as I've ever been and feeling like myself again.
Nothing's ever as bad as it seems.
With the exception of those suffering from a terminal illness, living on the streets or malnourished in a third world country, most of our lives are pretty good. Granted, some days might not be as good as others, maybe things don't go the way we'd like all the time, but in general, life is good.
When I have bad days, you know, when I start to think things like, "My life sucks," I like to go through this checklist:
Am I alive?
Am I healthy?
Am I safe/living comfortably?
Am I doing well in school/work?
Am I loved?
I don't think there's ever been an occasion when I've answered "No," to any of those questions. As far as I'm concerned, that's all you need, probably less than that even. As long as I can say "Yes" to the important things, I figure I'm doing alright. Not to toot my own horn, but I think with an attitude like this, a lot of people would be a lot happier on a daily basis. Unfortunately, to achieve perspective, you have to be willing to look through immediate emotions and situation, a thick veil at times.
There's still hope. There always is. However low you may get, you're never at the bottom, as long as you live. So look up.
